Wednesday, 18 April 2012


Rating: ★★★½

I originally went to see Battleship to stare at my one true love Rihanna acting. I wasn't expecting much from the film but I was pleasantly surprised.

Misfit marine
The film is about a marine (Alexander Skarsgård) who convinces his good-for-nothing brother (Taylor Kitsch) to join him in the US navy. Little do they know that a fleet of aliens is about to attack and it's up to the new marine to defend Earth. I know what you're thinking – could this plot be any more far-fetched. But the script, which it has to be said does not contain the most original dialogue, is surprisingly funny and even points fun at itself a lot. For example, every time a character is about to swear a loud explosion covers it! And there's a lot of loud explosions... And even more reasons to swear.

Battleship is child's play
Now as many people may know, this film was inspired by the Hasbro game Battleships. Even though the game is incredibly tedious, I can understand why it might make a good premise for a film because (unlike games such as Cluedo) there is absolutely no plot or characters, so you pretty much have free reign to do what you want. Director Peter Berg and his scriptwriters do come up with some clever homages to the game... For example, the scene in which the Destroyer's radar breaks means that the crew have to fire blindly at the enemy, just like in a game of Battleships (geddit!). Also, every so often the filmmakers cut to a really high aerial shot, to simulate the Battleship board. But overall the movie-makers have got the essence of the game, which is to destroy as much stuff as possible.

RIHANNA the actress
Now that's enough of me being a retro toy nerd. Back to the most important thing in this movie.... RIHANNA! People might think a pop star is an odd choice for an action film. But they would be Wrong! Rihanna's part isn't all that challenging. Her character has absolutely no relevance to the story and in any other action film would have been dead within the first five minutes, but because it's Rihanna, she gets to spend the entire film fighting aliens, blowing up spaceships and looking cool. And she even sings (for about half a second, you'll have to watch the movie to spot the moment).

I hope for Taylor's sake Battleship is a success because after John Carter his career might already become a sinking ship.

You might think that this film is ridiculous, but it did have some great moments. My favourite is the final climax when the new marines have to enlist the help of a group of veteran, pensioner marines to drive the only ship they have left.

Battleship isn't as dark and brooding as some of the recent CGI blockbusters, such as Dark Knight and Inception, but it's got something for all the family..... And of course RIHANNA's in it, just in case you forgot.

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